During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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