I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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