Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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