When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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