even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize