i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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