I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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