their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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