she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
zippers are such a cool invention
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize