So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize