you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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