Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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