When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize