i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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