The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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