You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
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Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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