I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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