I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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