When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize