She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's blow job season.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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