yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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