I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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