Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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