This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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