i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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