So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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