I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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