glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize