id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
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Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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