Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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