You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize