Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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