dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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