Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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