She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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