I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
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just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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