My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize