i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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