You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize