If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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