I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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