You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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