I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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