is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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