My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize