He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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