Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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