That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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