he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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