youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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